I was inspired by a black and white picture I came across on Instagram.
I was so captivated by it.
The way he is looking at her so lovingly and tenderly.
Her eyes closed.
The way she seems to feel so safe with him.
I just had to paint this couple.
I wanted to be this couple in my own way.
To feel what I imagined they were feeling.
First as I was painting it last September, the word Benevolence came to me.
I had to look up benevolence as I did not know what it meant.
Then the word penetrated straight into my heart....Benevolent Love.
That’s what I want.
But I put the panting away after a while and didn’t finish it.
Then time passed.
I moved in with a man.
The painting moved in with me.
But then, we broke up.
If I really wanted to know, be and experience love, I knew I had to leave.
And I had to believe what is meant to be mine will be mine if it’s meant to be mine.
So although a part of me wanted to stay, I moved out.
My painting moved out too.
My heart was hurting so much from confusion and sadness.
So to quell the anxiety a bit, I took the painting out to a park and painted a suit and hat on the man.
Then I painted the girl as Alice from Wonderland.
I was turning Benevolent Love into the love I felt with this man and I - a creative, deep, artistic, colorful, unique, storybook, zany, passionate Wonderland kind of love.
But then I put the painting away again because it was too painful to look at.
More time passed and I decided to take out the painting again.
This time I felt like painting words on it.
This special man gave me the idea once to paint words IN my paintings.
So I did.
I painted Words of Love.
Gods kind of love.
The love I want.
The Love I am asking God to blast my mind and heart wide open to see and be and know and experience and share.
Because I want to go back to the garden.
To know what Gods design is for a man and a woman.
So I started painting the words from 1 Corinthians 13 into the painting.
Because I know I can paint what I want to see and what I want to be.
God I pray you show me how to see and be and experience and share YOUR original holy and sacred and beautifully passionate design for the love between a man and a woman.
Blow me wide open and lead me where I never been.
Take me beautifully in over my head.
All in the name of LOVE!