Even though I KNOW, from past experience, it's not a good place for me to be spending my time, I started creating content for the new social media account I opened on Instagram (I think this is eighth one I have created). Quickly, I noticed I was getting all caught up in what to post and how to make it look great and grab attention among the MASSES of posts out there. Stemming from a sincere place in my heart, I was trying to figure out how I could best use my talents to make "God famous" and I was looking for ways to edify myself by posting biblical content everyday. But, instead of it bringing me JOY, the whole thing was making me freaking anxious. I was comparing myself to all these successful christian bloggers and speakers and kept feeling like a failure who will never find her purpose and succeed in it.
I also saw that I was operating in my old ways, hoping my posts would be seen by some hunky christian single man that would feel overwhelmingly captivated by me and prompted to reach out to me to pursue me in the way I dream of.
But the kicker was that instead, I found myself checking to see if my ex boyfriend had looked at my Insta-Stories concluding that because it appeared that he saw ONE post, it must mean he still thinks about me and that must mean I am important and unforgettable and he still cares for me. However, on the flip side, when I saw that he did NOT check out THE REST of my Insta-Stories, I noticed that I was concluding that it meant I am not important after all and he hates me and I am easily forgettable.
UGH! Mandy! This is not GOD! This is not what TRUST in GOD looks like. So, please go back to the peaceful place girl!
So, around 11:00 am, after I was tired of putting myself through this self-induced torment once again, I decided to DELETE my social media accounts and immerse myself in REAL LIFE - life right in front of me in REAL time with real people right in front of me - and not on a screen.
Around 1:00 my friend and I headed to do some errands. I love this friend. We talked about how we both want to honor men and God in our dating life. I am very grateful I have a friend I can talk with about such things. I am also thankful she is an esthetician because we got to go into this special beauty supply store. Because of her license, I got some eyelash serum which I am so excited about because my lashes are not very full nor long.
We then made our way buy delicious food for a small dinner party we were having that night and then headed to our last stop, Trader Joe's.
As my friend and I were walking (I was dancing) down the middle isle full of condiments like peanut butter and raspberry jam, an elderly lady was walking by in the opposite direction pushing her cart. Right when she passed by us, I heard something crash onto the ground. When I looked down I saw that a glass container of maple syrup had slipped through her fingers and instead of ending up in her cart, it broke into a hundred pieces on the floor and soaked her white sneakers and calves with its sugary syrup.
Right away, my friend said, "Go grab someone and get something to help her wipe up the mess." So, without batting an eye lash, I ran over to customer service desk at the front of the store. I saw a bunch of men standing there. I wanted to go up to the really cute man I had noticed on the way in but instead, because I realized this was not the time to flirt and get all caught up in stuff about ME, I went over to the tall older man that looked like he may be the one in charge and said, "Hi! So, a sweet lady just dropped some maple syrup over in that isle and it's all over her shoes and the floor. Do you have some paper towels I could help her clean it up with? Preferably wet ones?"
He went behind the desk and grabbed some wet and dry towels. We then ran over to the lady. When I reached the spot she was standing at, I got down on my knees and started to clean off her left shoe. Then my friend got on her knees and started to clean her other shoe, her calves and the floor. The whole time, as she looked down at us kneeling in our dresses on the floor, the lady kept saying, "Oh my goodness I can't believe this," while the store manager kept saying, "This is love right here. This is love." I felt like the luckiest woman on the earth. My friend did too.
After we were done cleaning her up, she said she wanted us to go into the Sees Candies store she works at so she could bless us. She was very touched by the whole thing and SO THANKFUL! My friend hugged her and we all went on our way.
THEN, as my friend and I were checking out our groceries, two Trader Joe's employers came up to us and said, "Hey, we heard you did a really wonderful thing for that lady. So on behalf of the store we would like to give you ladies these." They handed us each a bouquet of beautiful flowers. We were both so surprised. Of course, we said thank you over and over and walked out of the store feeling so loved by God and so in awe of God. The timing of us being at that store at that moment when she walked by and knocked over the syrup was perfect. We were both in awe of Gods timing and we BOTH KNEW that the love that poured out of us for that woman was AN OVERFLOW of the LOVE that we feel from our SAVIOR. And it made us feel that much more loved by God and that much more grateful for how good God is! The way God's love works is unlike anything this world can offer. He FIRST loves us, then because we feel so freaking loved and taken care of and safe, we GET TO love others and then what does God do? He blesses the love we bless others with exponentially and gives us FLOWERS! LOVE MULTIPLIES and love is contagious. We left that store and you could literally feel the ripple affect of love that had been created.
So we went home and had a beautiful small dinner party consisting of three ladies that love the Lord. We talked all night about how we ALL want to honor men and God in our dating lives and how we know we need each other to do so. They prayed for me as I cried and shared about how I REALLY WANT to walk differently this time and not sin again with men. I knew in that moment God was giving me EVERYTHING I will EVER need to be able to date in the way I know He would have me do it and I was just in awe. It was a beautiful day, God is good and I hope I get another chance to wash someone's feet again soon!