MY STORY
Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of falling in love with a prince who adored me. Instead, I found myself repeatedly falling into unhealthy relationships. I chased after crumbs of attention from men, struggling with limiting beliefs (some I wasn't even aware of) that made me feel unworthy and incapable of taking the necessary actions to have what I truly desired. I had no sense of self and I used to jokingly say my "picker" was broken.
In my late 40's, I was ready to give up. I had achieved a certain level of success in my professional life. I wrote, published and illustrated several children's books, traveled, moved to my dream location of Hawaii, taught myself how to tattoo, play guitar and piano, was the lead singer of a rock band, painted thousands of paintings, murals and faces, healed from a severe eating disorder and was sober from alcohol for decades but I wasn't getting what I truly wanted in love. At 48, I was still unmarried.
Even though I wanted to get to know someone slowly, I kept rushing into relationships - repeatedly assigning magical qualities to the handsome (emotionally unavailable) men I met or on the flip side - settling for way less than what I truly wanted.
After almost two decades of sobriety, I picked up alcohol again so I could quell the deep grief, hopelessness and anxiety I was feeling about my love life. The alcohol helped me calm down my nerves before dates with men.
Then, after falling for a man that was NEVER going to choose me, I realized I was quite possibly fundamentally broken in the area of love. I had become painfully aware that I had been repeating a LIFELONG UNHEALTHY PATTERN in ALL my relationships. But despite my awareness and efforts to do things differently, I kept choosing and attracting emotionally unavailable men over and over!
In the beginning of 2024, I made a pivotal and life changing DECISION! I became willing to do WHATEVER it took to CHANGE. I got on my knees (the same thing I did in 2006 when I asked God to heal me from my addiction to food and alcohol).
In March of 2024, I asked God to heal my SOUL, my MIND and my SPIRIT in the area of romance, even if that meant being single FOREVER. I just wanted the unceasing sense of longing to stop. I wanted to feel whole and content on my own.
In my late 40's, I was ready to give up. I had achieved a certain level of success in my professional life. I wrote, published and illustrated several children's books, traveled, moved to my dream location of Hawaii, taught myself how to tattoo, play guitar and piano, was the lead singer of a rock band, painted thousands of paintings, murals and faces, healed from a severe eating disorder and was sober from alcohol for decades but I wasn't getting what I truly wanted in love. At 48, I was still unmarried.
Even though I wanted to get to know someone slowly, I kept rushing into relationships - repeatedly assigning magical qualities to the handsome (emotionally unavailable) men I met or on the flip side - settling for way less than what I truly wanted.
After almost two decades of sobriety, I picked up alcohol again so I could quell the deep grief, hopelessness and anxiety I was feeling about my love life. The alcohol helped me calm down my nerves before dates with men.
Then, after falling for a man that was NEVER going to choose me, I realized I was quite possibly fundamentally broken in the area of love. I had become painfully aware that I had been repeating a LIFELONG UNHEALTHY PATTERN in ALL my relationships. But despite my awareness and efforts to do things differently, I kept choosing and attracting emotionally unavailable men over and over!
In the beginning of 2024, I made a pivotal and life changing DECISION! I became willing to do WHATEVER it took to CHANGE. I got on my knees (the same thing I did in 2006 when I asked God to heal me from my addiction to food and alcohol).
In March of 2024, I asked God to heal my SOUL, my MIND and my SPIRIT in the area of romance, even if that meant being single FOREVER. I just wanted the unceasing sense of longing to stop. I wanted to feel whole and content on my own.
